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Don’t Call Me Martha

I should have written here a few days ago. Just sort of left people hanging. I promise it wasn’t intentional. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I scatter. I have trouble focusing on a wide variety of things. I will never be a multi-tasking, super woman who I feel like we are egged into being. I guess others can spread their focus and energy so thin and still be like a happy, well-organized, got it all together super woman. Those women must be better than me because I am typically a frantic mess woman who has too much on plate and in order accomplish anything, I have to focus, focus, focus!  Sometimes, I am so scattered brained that I prioritize what I focus on and let something go for a few days. Like the blog.

I had my job interview. I got the job. Tremendous relief!  The company that I work for sent me a laundry list of things to accomplish before my training starts. That is why I haven’t been here. Just could not focus on both so I did my paper work, set up my home office and secured a paying job. Priorities. I am happy to work again but feel guilty that I was not writing every day.

I suppose one day, I’ll get it all together, filed and supremely organized.
Or I won’t. Maybe I’ll just be the fluttering, creative free spirit who gets things done without a pretty little planner. That might be fun!

Be brave.
Jamie Christine

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Bridal Shop Bliss?

I’ve been thinking…

A few weeks ago, I had a job interview at a bridal salon. I was super excited about it. I was interviewing for a customer service representative position which would require me to work the front desk, answer phones, up-sale items at the cash register and generally be an assistant to everyone in the store. I have a lot of customer service experience in my 30 years of work experience. Topping off all my work experience is the fact that I have a diploma in bridal consulting and I consistently monitor the bridal industry along with keeping fresh with latest trends. Seriously.

I had two interviews with two different ladies. The first interview was with a calm and charming woman who was especially easy to converse and laugh with. The second woman was uptight, snobby who barely even spoke with me. My interview was less than 15 minutes long and she was ushering me out the door. Keep in mind that I am completely prepared to accept that there was a better qualified candidate out there. In fact it is pretty true in life that there is always someone better qualified than you and someone less qualified than you. It is just a fact. Here’s my however. I over heard the snobby lady say something as I was waiting for my interview that has been rolling around my brain and now, I am not sure about that my qualifications or lack of were the reason I did not get the job.

I was browsing through the stunning dresses when I over heard the snob say, “I liked her but I think she would be better in the back, in alterations. She was old you know.” She was speaking about whomever had interviewed before me. The lady who had previously interviewed for the job was an older woman. Apparently, the snob, felt that because although she was qualified, she should be placed in the back so no one would see her. Because she was old.

When I heard her say it, I was shocked and I thought to myself, “I hope she is not doing my interview.” Sure enough, she was the person I was meeting. The snob was so brisk in the interview and impatient. It was obvious that she was in a hurry to get it done. I did my best to work with it and keep moving forward with a smile. In hind sight, I am not sure that the snob ever gave me a chance. I am older and I am fat.

This is the first time in my life that I have ever wondered if I lost a job based solely on my appearance but after considering how the snob was willing to hire a qualified candidate and stuff her in the back because she is old, I am not so sure.

I understand, people and companies have images. I also understand that I am perfectly capable of dressing and grooming to company standards.  I understand this may have nothing to do with why I did not get the job. I also understand that it is wrong to put qualified employees “in the back” because they are old or fat.

Other than my weight, I was appropriately dressed, clean and well groomed. I was 15 minutes early, well mannered and have a bridal consulting diploma. I understand that I am a valuable, hard working and intelligent employee who happens to carry some extra weight. I understand that loosing weight would be better for me. I am working on it!

More importantly, I understand that, sadly, that bridal shop was no where I want to work especially after seeing how they treat older people. The snob can feel safe. Me and my old, fat, qualified self will just work elsewhere with people who know how to NOT discriminate based on weight or age.

Be brave.
Jamie Christine

 

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Friday’s Thoughts and a Photo

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Two weeks into this new blogging adventure. I am beginning to establish a habit of writing every day which is something that I have not done in an extremely long time. Probably close to a decade since I abandoned any and all writing. I think my writer’s brain may be leaping, no sputtering, back into action kind of like an old superhero who shows up to save the day but just can’t quite leap over tall buildings like she could in the old days. None the less, I think about writing every day now due to the blog and that is a tiny leap to save my day.

I think a lot about the direction I would like to take Bent Blossom. I think the needle on my compass is twirling in circles as if captured in a magnetic force field causing it to spin wildly in no particular direction. In July, there was a major crisis in my life concerning my son which upended our lives. It was one of those events where instantly you knew things were never going to be the same again. My life is not the same and it will never be heading in that direction again. Foolishly, hopefully, I thought it would have settled into something by now but the dog days of summer have passed and autumn should be here any day now and still nothing but uncertainty greets every sunrise. Old things are passing away. I wait impatiently for new things to sprout. So, I don’t know where the blog is going because the compass has yet to cease spinning. Right now, I have blog and I write every day. That’s all I know.

Still no word from my job interview on Monday. Some friends are saying that if they had interviews all week they may wait till Friday to make a decision. I completely understand. I also am acutely aware the rent is due in 11 days. I need money today not in 3-4 weeks from maybe Friday. So, I’ve agreed to an interview tomorrow for some seasonal warehouse work. It’s one of those if you show up then you are hired. I’m praying I can do it. I’ve got two bad knees, Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, chronic pain and who knows what else is wrong with me. Twelve hours of warehouse work is not ideal but neither is being homeless so I feel like it is a pick your poison situation. The warehouse work is temporary, just till the end of the year. Praying I can muster enough for that length of time and get us caught up a little financially. We shall see.

Ah, yes, the photo. This is a shot of a night-blooming Cereus or Queen of the Night as we call it here in the desert. I absolutely adore these flowers. It is always a treat to see them bloom on the cacti but you have to be outside at night to witness them spread their flower wings and decorate the night desert. I used the headlights from my car to light up this bloom and grabbed some great shots.

With that, I am drawing today to a close. I have many errands to run tomorrow. I probably should sleep.
Be brave.
Jamie Christine

 

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“S” Words

Good Monday Morning!
Hope everyone had a super weekend. No dreaded Mondays here. Monday is just the beginning of a marvelous week brimming with opportunities. Today, I would like to share three ‘s’ words to catch up on my weekend.

Stymied.
Last week, I was stymied and was unable to make all my weekly blog posts. After my interview on Tuesday, things kind of, sort of, maybe snowballed into a blur of inactivity. I think it was the stress that built up prior to the interview. I had to take a break. To prevent another stumble with the blog, I am doing my best to write my posts ahead of time so I can have them ready to go. I’m pretty sure that is how successful bloggers do it. 😉

Second.
Tuesday, I had a job interview. I was extremely nervous but I managed to pull myself together and arrive on time. Once I checked in, I was informed that I would be participating in a group interview which is a completely new phenomena to me. I am not sure the reasoning behind such an interview, however, I did my best with the situation. Wednesday afternoon brought the much-anticipated e-mail requesting a second interview. Whoo-hoo! So, today, I am tackling interview number two which is an individual interview. Wish me luck!

Sleep.
Ah! The ever elusive friend, sleep. For over 16 months, I worked an over night job and try as I might, I still stay up all night and sleep during the day. I don’t find it troubling if I don’t have a job and have to function in the normal world of day jobs but that is just not the case. I am working hard to correct my sleep schedule so that I catch my Zz’s at night like most everyone else. Thank you, melatonin.

So, there you have it, a brief update.
Have a spectacular day!
Be brave.
Jamie Christine

 

blog, photography

Special Saturday Entry

Hello,
I know that Saturday is not my regular day to post but I was off this week and didn’t get my regular entries completed. #BadBlogger.

I am dropping by real quick to say “Hi” and let you know I am still here. Still unemployed. Still using my air conditioner in October. Not happy about this fact.

As for my interview. I share the details next week but I made it through first rounds. I have been invited to have a second interview next week so here’s hoping for wonderful news.

Preparing to move. I’ve packed one box of dishes. I do not know when or where I am moving. I just know that I am moving.

Here is a photo that I love. Which reminds me that I may be entering a photo contest this month at National Geographic. Wouldn’t that be stellar!
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Gentle reminder. All photos are copyrighted by me and bentblossom.com. 🙂 Thank you!

Take Care.
Be Brave.
Jamie Christine

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Interview Day

Focusing on getting the blog done early today.  To be honest, I am attempting to focus on anything I can to keep myself from having an all out spasm of some kind.

I did not wake up feeling good or confident in today.  I woke up feeling a ton of swirling negative energy. Right out of bed, even before my first cup of coffee, I felt a massive push to just let loose in a negative rant against anything and everyone. I am not sure if I can articulate what I was experiencing. It was as if I woke up and stepped out of bed into an atmosphere that was ripe with complaining, irritation, annoyance and negativity. The first words out of my mouth were criticisms about petty things. I thought, “Whoa, don’t do this.”

I was making my coffee and I felt out-of-place as the awareness of the bad spiritual energy intensified. I do not know any other way to explain this but I noticed a separation between me and the negative energy in the room. Sounds weird, I know, but things like this happen to me all the time. The idea came to me that if  I complain, then I will increase this negative mass of energy. If I indulge this dangerous beast then I will slip into this negative space sending myself into a disastrous day. I became acutely aware that if I allowed myself to complain or criticize then I would be sent careening down a path that would create nothing but negative nullifying anything good that may happen today.

While having my first cup of coffee, I thought I have to do something to change the direction of my day. The first thing I did was focus on the awareness that I was sensing. I am aware of the negative energy swirling about me. I am not making it up. Ignoring it will only force it to intensify and press in on me further. Speaking or thinking negativity fuels it’s growth so keep your mouth shut for now. Second step, do something positive or at the very least neutral to counter balance the negative and shift the direction I am walking. I can walk negative or I can walk positive. So, I told my son, Flash, about what was happening to me. He replied, “I know, I feel it too.” There you go, the beast is now out in the open.

Turning to the blog and my second cup of coffee, I scrambled to take steps that will alter my direction. The strangest part is that my efforts are working. The unwanted beast has backed off. I still feel a thin, slippery, slimy residue in the air but I am calmer. I am no longer picking up on the urge to have negative words come out of my mouth. I am not feeling the resistance that once so keenly held my focus. It is such an odd state to be aware of things like this and even though I have always been like this, I am still not accustomed to it.

I can breathe now. Today is going to be day of push and pull. I am going to have to keep one eye on the seen and one eye on the unseen. I am going to have to be hyper-sensitive about what I say and do. Every thought and choice will have to be weighed and measured. I will have to function in this world and battle the other world.  No wonder I am always tired and feel like I am stretched to thin. For now, I can not worry about it. I must stay in a calm, focused place and get ready for my interview today.

Say a prayer and wish me luck!
Be brave.
Jamie Christine

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Time to move it, move it.

Good Monday Morning!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful weekend. My weekend went by far too fast. Monday kind of crept up on me but I find that happens really easy when you are unemployed. The days all kind of slip into a time warp. At least for me. Adding to my calendar confusion is the fact that my sleep schedule is all upside down. I’ve been falling into the pattern of sleeping days and staying up all night. Attempting to correct that a little bit today.

I have to get myself turned around because tomorrow I have a job interview. Yay!! I have to get all dressed up and actually be prepared to shine in the middle of my sleep schedule tomorrow. Oi-vey!

I am however, super excited about this new potential job. It is in customer service at a bridal salon. Whoo-hoo! I do confess that I prefer hiking boots to heels so this position may seem a little odd for me, however, I do possess a diploma in bridal consulting. So, while it may seem far out in left field, it really is not. For the past decade I have kept up with wedding trends, planning and most of all, dresses. It is not uncommon for me to virtually plan a wedding and store it away in a file folder simply due to the fact that I found the perfect wedding dress.

It is an exciting development in my life. A new plot twist that is sure to bring challenges, learning curves and adventure. Who doesn’t love adventure?

Be brave,
Jamie Christine