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New Day

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Good Morning!

I am running a little late this morning. My thoughts are a tad bit scattered. There is so much zipping around in my brain that it is taking a good amount of effort to get going today.

I have job interview today at 2 p.m. It is making me jumpy and of course, anxious. I need to get this job. The company I am interviewing with is a work from home company. Which I’ve attempted in the past. I wasn’t very successful with it. My anxiety crashed in all around me and I quit the job after the training period was over.

But, I need to work somewhere. Going out and physically working, is just not a real option for me. I worked the seasonal job and it just about killed me. I barely made it through. The more I worked the job, the more symptoms that I experienced. Every day I worked at the warehouse, the sicker I became. It would take me four days of rest and being home bound so that I could scrape through three days of work. The more I am outside of my home, the worse my physical condition gets. Everything makes me sick. I feel so trapped.

I can’t think about this now. I have to stay focused on coming up with a solution that allows me to work from home. I am brainstorming an online store and hoping it will be success this time. I am also hoping to get this customer service job. As much as I despise customer service work, I have no other choice at the moment.

Have a good day. I’ll be back tomorrow. Hopefully with good news.
Be brave.
Jamie Christine

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Interview Day

Focusing on getting the blog done early today.  To be honest, I am attempting to focus on anything I can to keep myself from having an all out spasm of some kind.

I did not wake up feeling good or confident in today.  I woke up feeling a ton of swirling negative energy. Right out of bed, even before my first cup of coffee, I felt a massive push to just let loose in a negative rant against anything and everyone. I am not sure if I can articulate what I was experiencing. It was as if I woke up and stepped out of bed into an atmosphere that was ripe with complaining, irritation, annoyance and negativity. The first words out of my mouth were criticisms about petty things. I thought, “Whoa, don’t do this.”

I was making my coffee and I felt out-of-place as the awareness of the bad spiritual energy intensified. I do not know any other way to explain this but I noticed a separation between me and the negative energy in the room. Sounds weird, I know, but things like this happen to me all the time. The idea came to me that if  I complain, then I will increase this negative mass of energy. If I indulge this dangerous beast then I will slip into this negative space sending myself into a disastrous day. I became acutely aware that if I allowed myself to complain or criticize then I would be sent careening down a path that would create nothing but negative nullifying anything good that may happen today.

While having my first cup of coffee, I thought I have to do something to change the direction of my day. The first thing I did was focus on the awareness that I was sensing. I am aware of the negative energy swirling about me. I am not making it up. Ignoring it will only force it to intensify and press in on me further. Speaking or thinking negativity fuels it’s growth so keep your mouth shut for now. Second step, do something positive or at the very least neutral to counter balance the negative and shift the direction I am walking. I can walk negative or I can walk positive. So, I told my son, Flash, about what was happening to me. He replied, “I know, I feel it too.” There you go, the beast is now out in the open.

Turning to the blog and my second cup of coffee, I scrambled to take steps that will alter my direction. The strangest part is that my efforts are working. The unwanted beast has backed off. I still feel a thin, slippery, slimy residue in the air but I am calmer. I am no longer picking up on the urge to have negative words come out of my mouth. I am not feeling the resistance that once so keenly held my focus. It is such an odd state to be aware of things like this and even though I have always been like this, I am still not accustomed to it.

I can breathe now. Today is going to be day of push and pull. I am going to have to keep one eye on the seen and one eye on the unseen. I am going to have to be hyper-sensitive about what I say and do. Every thought and choice will have to be weighed and measured. I will have to function in this world and battle the other world.  No wonder I am always tired and feel like I am stretched to thin. For now, I can not worry about it. I must stay in a calm, focused place and get ready for my interview today.

Say a prayer and wish me luck!
Be brave.
Jamie Christine