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Looking for my Phojo

I am struggling to find my phojo.

It began fading while I was preparing, packing and moving to Virginia. Moving consumed so much of my energy that my photography dwindled to an occasional shot of my cats or moving boxes. I have some nice shots that document our life at that time but I sincerely regret that I did not have time to haunt my favorite photo places one more time. There is also a growing list of places that I had intended to get too in Arizona and photograph but due to health, money or time, I never got the chance and that haunts me.

The drive out to Virginia was horrendous. It is a whole other blog post. We spent four days in the car. Sleep. Eat. Drive. We made no stops in hotels or touristy photo ops. We just drove, juggled our resources and did our best not to yell at each other. By the third day, my body completely gave out. I could not stay awake for one hour unless I slept two. It was two days of sleeping and trying to stay awake long enough to drive. Nothing would keep me awake but, again, that is another post. Needless to say, I did not have time for photos.

Now, the first few months here have been a deep struggle between health and settling in our new place. I’ve had a few opportunities to get out and shoot but, well, I just don’t have the motivation. I have no interest in anywhere. Whenever, I ask around about places to shoot, I get a Civil War Memorial or a cemetery. I have no interest in shooting a cemetery. It’s just creepy and gross. Civil War…I’ll pass…I have too much anger and too many issues over southern history to spend my days photographing it. Just typing that sentence makes me angry.

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I miss the Salt River, the wild horses, the cacti, the canyons…I miss shooting Arizona. But, I am here not there. I am trying not to complain. I am trying to be positive. I am trying not to cry all day. I am trying to keep looking ahead and moving forward. So, I have stopped photographing Virginia because, because I am furious at it. I left Virginia in 1993 and I never intended to return here. I never intended on moving to the east coast. Ever. Period. Forever. I hate it here.

But I am here. I miss shooting. I am taking lots of photos of my kids and the cats. A more intimate look at my life right now while I sort out this anger toward Virginia and the south…

I can’t believe I moved here.

Jamie

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This Blog or That Blog?

Life has been a tad bit crazy since deciding to move to Virginia and it hasn’t settled down since we arrived. There has been no settling for us. To our credit, we wake up every day and tackle life. Good, bad or indifferent, we are still in the game. Yay us! Sort of.

My health has taken quite a hit since moving here. I was concerned about it before moving but did my best to keep my worries private. Sad to report, that my concerns were well founded. My health is worse in Virginia. I am dealing with all the old problems and a bunch of new health challenges. I am researching and working to get myself together again. It’s just taking some time. But the life that I have envisioned for years is still just far enough of reach that I can’t get there. It sucks. Back to the drawing board.

There are days where I have a lot of down time and up till now, I have mostly been sleeping, recovering and willing my body to get it together. I’m not sure how well that is working but where the mind leads, the body will follow. So I’ve been told.

During the times of quiet, my mind keeps thinking about blogging and writing. It’s been a struggle to get it going. For the first few months, we had no internet. It’s only been within the past 30 days that we have internet in our home. Then there is time. I’m the only driver in our home so currently, I drive 2 people to 3 jobs. It was 2 people to 4 jobs for first few months. I didn’t have much time to sit still while juggling 2 people with 4 schedules. But we’ve made it work.

One of my biggest excuses has been this insane idea of starting a brand spanking new blog. I’ve been searching and trying out new names. I’ve been resisting coming to this blog to build on what I have already started. A mini identity crisis? Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes I don’t want to tie some of my thoughts with my photography but it is so much easier to manage if it is all in one place. Does this blog allow me to do that? I don’t know but why start over? Plus, I can’t think of a new blog name that I like.

So, for now I am just going to get back to the keyboard. Hopefully.

I’m terrible at this…

Jamie

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The Love of Daisies

Just popping in before the 3 day holiday weekend begins for everyone. 😉

I am slowly adjusting to the keyboard for my tablet but it is not an easy one. I am persevering with it anyway.

Monday, hopefully, I will be back to the blog at least a few times a week for now. Still working on internet in my home but I have figured out a way to write my posts, save them and set up publishing dates for each entry. My biggest concern is comments. I won’t be able to respond as often and I worry about leaving people waiting for a reply, so, for now, I am going to aim for just a couple post per week till I get internet and can monitor comments more closely.

Today I am sharing this lovely photo of a daisy that It took at Old City Cemetary in Lynchburg, VA. Daisies have been a favorite flower of mine since I was a young girl. They remind me of only good things in this world. As we head into the 3 day weekend, I hope you find plenty of time for the good things in life.

Just a friendly reminder that while everyone is out there enjoying the long weekend please, remember a designated driver is the safest way to go! Stay home, walk, call a taxi, Uber, Lift or even your Mom but please do not drink and drive. Make choices before you drink to keep yourself and others safe while celebrating this weekend! Sober driving is the only safe driving!!

Be safe out there. We want everyone to be here on Tuesday morning!

Be Brave.

Jamie Christine

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FYI: Internet Connection

FYI: Internet is still elusive at my house. Oh, sad times indeed! I am hoping to be up and running again in September. In the meantime, please know that if you don’t hear back from me right away that I just have not gotten to an internet connection. I will answer or reply as soon as I can.

Also, please note that the blog is undergoing a make over in the next week or so. I am sincerely hoping to be blogging away in the next few weeks. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things so be ready! 😉

Thanks so much for being patient.

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Relocation Campaign

In 13 days, I will be moving to Lynchburg, Virginia. It’s a long, stressful story as to how we are getting there but we are going. In fact we are going if we have to sleep in our car and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for days. We are going even if we don’t have the money to go.

DSCN2255crop However, since the idea of pb&j for days on end is not appetizing for an untreated diabetic, we have started a Go Fund Me fundraiser. Please click on the link to ready our whole story of how Lynchburg, Virginia came to be our destination. Donations are immensely appreciated!
Relocation Campaign with Go Fund Me

 

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Don’t Call Me Martha

I should have written here a few days ago. Just sort of left people hanging. I promise it wasn’t intentional. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and I scatter. I have trouble focusing on a wide variety of things. I will never be a multi-tasking, super woman who I feel like we are egged into being. I guess others can spread their focus and energy so thin and still be like a happy, well-organized, got it all together super woman. Those women must be better than me because I am typically a frantic mess woman who has too much on plate and in order accomplish anything, I have to focus, focus, focus!  Sometimes, I am so scattered brained that I prioritize what I focus on and let something go for a few days. Like the blog.

I had my job interview. I got the job. Tremendous relief!  The company that I work for sent me a laundry list of things to accomplish before my training starts. That is why I haven’t been here. Just could not focus on both so I did my paper work, set up my home office and secured a paying job. Priorities. I am happy to work again but feel guilty that I was not writing every day.

I suppose one day, I’ll get it all together, filed and supremely organized.
Or I won’t. Maybe I’ll just be the fluttering, creative free spirit who gets things done without a pretty little planner. That might be fun!

Be brave.
Jamie Christine

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New Day

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Good Morning!

I am running a little late this morning. My thoughts are a tad bit scattered. There is so much zipping around in my brain that it is taking a good amount of effort to get going today.

I have job interview today at 2 p.m. It is making me jumpy and of course, anxious. I need to get this job. The company I am interviewing with is a work from home company. Which I’ve attempted in the past. I wasn’t very successful with it. My anxiety crashed in all around me and I quit the job after the training period was over.

But, I need to work somewhere. Going out and physically working, is just not a real option for me. I worked the seasonal job and it just about killed me. I barely made it through. The more I worked the job, the more symptoms that I experienced. Every day I worked at the warehouse, the sicker I became. It would take me four days of rest and being home bound so that I could scrape through three days of work. The more I am outside of my home, the worse my physical condition gets. Everything makes me sick. I feel so trapped.

I can’t think about this now. I have to stay focused on coming up with a solution that allows me to work from home. I am brainstorming an online store and hoping it will be success this time. I am also hoping to get this customer service job. As much as I despise customer service work, I have no other choice at the moment.

Have a good day. I’ll be back tomorrow. Hopefully with good news.
Be brave.
Jamie Christine