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Looking for my Phojo

I am struggling to find my phojo.

It began fading while I was preparing, packing and moving to Virginia. Moving consumed so much of my energy that my photography dwindled to an occasional shot of my cats or moving boxes. I have some nice shots that document our life at that time but I sincerely regret that I did not have time to haunt my favorite photo places one more time. There is also a growing list of places that I had intended to get too in Arizona and photograph but due to health, money or time, I never got the chance and that haunts me.

The drive out to Virginia was horrendous. It is a whole other blog post. We spent four days in the car. Sleep. Eat. Drive. We made no stops in hotels or touristy photo ops. We just drove, juggled our resources and did our best not to yell at each other. By the third day, my body completely gave out. I could not stay awake for one hour unless I slept two. It was two days of sleeping and trying to stay awake long enough to drive. Nothing would keep me awake but, again, that is another post. Needless to say, I did not have time for photos.

Now, the first few months here have been a deep struggle between health and settling in our new place. I’ve had a few opportunities to get out and shoot but, well, I just don’t have the motivation. I have no interest in anywhere. Whenever, I ask around about places to shoot, I get a Civil War Memorial or a cemetery. I have no interest in shooting a cemetery. It’s just creepy and gross. Civil War…I’ll pass…I have too much anger and too many issues over southern history to spend my days photographing it. Just typing that sentence makes me angry.

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I miss the Salt River, the wild horses, the cacti, the canyons…I miss shooting Arizona. But, I am here not there. I am trying not to complain. I am trying to be positive. I am trying not to cry all day. I am trying to keep looking ahead and moving forward. So, I have stopped photographing Virginia because, because I am furious at it. I left Virginia in 1993 and I never intended to return here. I never intended on moving to the east coast. Ever. Period. Forever. I hate it here.

But I am here. I miss shooting. I am taking lots of photos of my kids and the cats. A more intimate look at my life right now while I sort out this anger toward Virginia and the south…

I can’t believe I moved here.

Jamie

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This Blog or That Blog?

Life has been a tad bit crazy since deciding to move to Virginia and it hasn’t settled down since we arrived. There has been no settling for us. To our credit, we wake up every day and tackle life. Good, bad or indifferent, we are still in the game. Yay us! Sort of.

My health has taken quite a hit since moving here. I was concerned about it before moving but did my best to keep my worries private. Sad to report, that my concerns were well founded. My health is worse in Virginia. I am dealing with all the old problems and a bunch of new health challenges. I am researching and working to get myself together again. It’s just taking some time. But the life that I have envisioned for years is still just far enough of reach that I can’t get there. It sucks. Back to the drawing board.

There are days where I have a lot of down time and up till now, I have mostly been sleeping, recovering and willing my body to get it together. I’m not sure how well that is working but where the mind leads, the body will follow. So I’ve been told.

During the times of quiet, my mind keeps thinking about blogging and writing. It’s been a struggle to get it going. For the first few months, we had no internet. It’s only been within the past 30 days that we have internet in our home. Then there is time. I’m the only driver in our home so currently, I drive 2 people to 3 jobs. It was 2 people to 4 jobs for first few months. I didn’t have much time to sit still while juggling 2 people with 4 schedules. But we’ve made it work.

One of my biggest excuses has been this insane idea of starting a brand spanking new blog. I’ve been searching and trying out new names. I’ve been resisting coming to this blog to build on what I have already started. A mini identity crisis? Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes I don’t want to tie some of my thoughts with my photography but it is so much easier to manage if it is all in one place. Does this blog allow me to do that? I don’t know but why start over? Plus, I can’t think of a new blog name that I like.

So, for now I am just going to get back to the keyboard. Hopefully.

I’m terrible at this…

Jamie

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The Love of Daisies

Just popping in before the 3 day holiday weekend begins for everyone. 😉

I am slowly adjusting to the keyboard for my tablet but it is not an easy one. I am persevering with it anyway.

Monday, hopefully, I will be back to the blog at least a few times a week for now. Still working on internet in my home but I have figured out a way to write my posts, save them and set up publishing dates for each entry. My biggest concern is comments. I won’t be able to respond as often and I worry about leaving people waiting for a reply, so, for now, I am going to aim for just a couple post per week till I get internet and can monitor comments more closely.

Today I am sharing this lovely photo of a daisy that It took at Old City Cemetary in Lynchburg, VA. Daisies have been a favorite flower of mine since I was a young girl. They remind me of only good things in this world. As we head into the 3 day weekend, I hope you find plenty of time for the good things in life.

Just a friendly reminder that while everyone is out there enjoying the long weekend please, remember a designated driver is the safest way to go! Stay home, walk, call a taxi, Uber, Lift or even your Mom but please do not drink and drive. Make choices before you drink to keep yourself and others safe while celebrating this weekend! Sober driving is the only safe driving!!

Be safe out there. We want everyone to be here on Tuesday morning!

Be Brave.

Jamie Christine

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New Day

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Good Morning!

I am running a little late this morning. My thoughts are a tad bit scattered. There is so much zipping around in my brain that it is taking a good amount of effort to get going today.

I have job interview today at 2 p.m. It is making me jumpy and of course, anxious. I need to get this job. The company I am interviewing with is a work from home company. Which I’ve attempted in the past. I wasn’t very successful with it. My anxiety crashed in all around me and I quit the job after the training period was over.

But, I need to work somewhere. Going out and physically working, is just not a real option for me. I worked the seasonal job and it just about killed me. I barely made it through. The more I worked the job, the more symptoms that I experienced. Every day I worked at the warehouse, the sicker I became. It would take me four days of rest and being home bound so that I could scrape through three days of work. The more I am outside of my home, the worse my physical condition gets. Everything makes me sick. I feel so trapped.

I can’t think about this now. I have to stay focused on coming up with a solution that allows me to work from home. I am brainstorming an online store and hoping it will be success this time. I am also hoping to get this customer service job. As much as I despise customer service work, I have no other choice at the moment.

Have a good day. I’ll be back tomorrow. Hopefully with good news.
Be brave.
Jamie Christine

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Rest In Peace, “Rosie”

Naomi Parker Fraley, the woman whose real life photo was the inspiration for the “Rosie the Riveter” campaign during World War II has died. Read more of her remarkable story here : Rosie the Riveter

Rest in Peace Naomi and thanks for inspiring a generation of women!

Be Brave,
Jamie Christine

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Aching Eyes

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Several years ago, okay, actually 15 years ago, I was plagued with ocular migraines. In a nutshell, it is migraine in your eyeball. They are excruciating. Ocular migraines are often accompanied by nausea and severe vertigo but the worse part was all that throbbing pain centered in your eyes. When I experienced one, I was forced to be bed for hours with an ice pack on my face. They shut my life down.

Around 2005, I came across a supplement for mood and sleeping called 5-HTP. It was a miracle pill for me. Not only did my sleep improve, symptoms from fibromyalgia as well as ocular migraines slowly disappeared. It was a new lease on life for me. Today, I experience these pain in the eyeball migraines very seldom.

Except for today. I spent way too much time on the computer yesterday. I woke in the middle of the night with a pounding migraine. I used every trick in the book to vanquish the nasty beast. After 3 hours, the headache is subsiding but my eyes are killing me. Which is frustrating because I have a ton of work to do on the computer. I will have to ration my time in front of a screen and ration my work.

So that means, this is it for today’s blog post.
Rest, ice and meds.

Be brave.
Jamie Christine

blog, photography

Friday Funk

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I woke up in a strange mood today.

I can feel a funky mood coming over me. One of those days where I either get myself together or I bark at people all day. I hate yelling at my boys so I will make every attempt to get it together. I will spend most of my day cleaning a little, crocheting and watching movies. I may take a walk to the grocery store. My car is out of commission right now but the walk may good for me. Adding to my discontent is the fact that the first person I thought of this morning was my gold digging step-mother. When my father died she robbed my brother and I of everything. Hell, when my father was alive she robbed us of him. Thinking of her puts me in a foul mood but if the spirit is bringing her up there may be something there that I need to investigate. Ugh…

So, here is something bright and cheery to help my mood and wish you a very  happy and safe weekend!

Be brave.
Jamie Christine